One of the popular topics that comes up in the LDS church is the idea of dating. Dating in the church does not mean what it does in the outside world, per say. The booklet, "For the Strength of Youth," published by the church even has a specific section that talks about the youth and dating.
According to the church "dating" is "... a planned activity that allows a young man and a young woman to get to know each other better. In cultures where dating is acceptable, it can help you learn and practice social skills, develop friendships, have wholesome fun, and eventually find an eternal companion."
Now, I love this church but there are some things that I sort of don't agree with in this section, but there are things I also agree with. As a convert, I began dating at 13 and I can honestly say it was a bad idea. I was cheated on by my first boyfriend and 5 months after that relationship ended, I found myself in one that lasted almost 3 years. The latter relationship is the one that damaged me the most. He didn't view me as a person but rather and object of desire. He would get mad at me if I wore my hair up, I didn't wear shorts, or things he thought were "sexy". I tried several times to break up with him before I moved to Idaho, but somehow I would get sucked back in because he made me feel as if I was reliant on him, and that I needed him to feel whole. Once I moved I met friends who helped me realize he was no good and that I needed to end it.
I was fragile, and naïve and I didn't know any better. The church says dating is not permitted until you turn 16, and I agree with that. There is honestly no reason to begin dating until then. You're still trying to figure out who you are and get used to being in high school.
"For the Strength of Youth" also states that when you begin dating, it should be with a group, as a way to keep others accountable for their actions as well as driving away temptation. It is also suggested that you should not seriously date, or go on dates with the same person multiple times. Honestly, in this world, they (the Church) know people are going to get into exclusive relationships, I'm currently in one, but this all goes back to agency and whether or not you will make that choice.
Some parents will strictly adhere to what "For the Strength of Youth" states, some will be a little more relaxed because again, these are guidelines and suggestions, not rules. Personally, I don't like the "dating label" when I go on what the church calls a "date" I just feel as if I'm going to hang out with friends. I don't know if that's the sort of feeling they're trying to give or not, but that's what I receive. Furthermore, adding this label makes it feel really formal and I get really awkward. In my opinion, a date should be when you try to see what people you could have a romantic interest with and develop those feelings, with one person who you think is compatible.
In the end, dating exclusively, or not, is really your choice. Your family should have some sort of influence on what you do, or not do, as well as the church. Dating would not have been included in this pamphlet if the church did not think it was important.
Amen
If you would like to download a digital (PDF) file of "For the Strength of Youth" you can download it down below!
According to the church "dating" is "... a planned activity that allows a young man and a young woman to get to know each other better. In cultures where dating is acceptable, it can help you learn and practice social skills, develop friendships, have wholesome fun, and eventually find an eternal companion."
Now, I love this church but there are some things that I sort of don't agree with in this section, but there are things I also agree with. As a convert, I began dating at 13 and I can honestly say it was a bad idea. I was cheated on by my first boyfriend and 5 months after that relationship ended, I found myself in one that lasted almost 3 years. The latter relationship is the one that damaged me the most. He didn't view me as a person but rather and object of desire. He would get mad at me if I wore my hair up, I didn't wear shorts, or things he thought were "sexy". I tried several times to break up with him before I moved to Idaho, but somehow I would get sucked back in because he made me feel as if I was reliant on him, and that I needed him to feel whole. Once I moved I met friends who helped me realize he was no good and that I needed to end it.
I was fragile, and naïve and I didn't know any better. The church says dating is not permitted until you turn 16, and I agree with that. There is honestly no reason to begin dating until then. You're still trying to figure out who you are and get used to being in high school.
"For the Strength of Youth" also states that when you begin dating, it should be with a group, as a way to keep others accountable for their actions as well as driving away temptation. It is also suggested that you should not seriously date, or go on dates with the same person multiple times. Honestly, in this world, they (the Church) know people are going to get into exclusive relationships, I'm currently in one, but this all goes back to agency and whether or not you will make that choice.
Some parents will strictly adhere to what "For the Strength of Youth" states, some will be a little more relaxed because again, these are guidelines and suggestions, not rules. Personally, I don't like the "dating label" when I go on what the church calls a "date" I just feel as if I'm going to hang out with friends. I don't know if that's the sort of feeling they're trying to give or not, but that's what I receive. Furthermore, adding this label makes it feel really formal and I get really awkward. In my opinion, a date should be when you try to see what people you could have a romantic interest with and develop those feelings, with one person who you think is compatible.
In the end, dating exclusively, or not, is really your choice. Your family should have some sort of influence on what you do, or not do, as well as the church. Dating would not have been included in this pamphlet if the church did not think it was important.
Amen
If you would like to download a digital (PDF) file of "For the Strength of Youth" you can download it down below!
forthestrengthofyouth-eng.pdf |